Family jokes
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
Mom! (DYM 3)
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Mom! (DYM 7)
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home base is.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.