Family jokes
Mom!
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
No one has my back like my dad.
Mom! (DYM 22)
When you figure out your sibling is an online dater:
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
Mom! (DYM 7)
Mom!
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
My father can take a joke because he made one.