Family jokes
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Say, "Moommy."
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏