Family jokes
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They never can make it home.
"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
Mom! (DYM 10)
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it does not have a home page.
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Why do orphans play with Barbies?
So they can have a home :)
Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Mom!
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.