Family jokes

Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.

Why are orphans whores?

Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dad!

Dad who?

Silence.

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

I impaled my son with a pitchfork...

He looks very sharp.

Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.

'Cause they sell oden, not a family.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.