Family jokes
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
Me at the dinner table
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."