Family jokes
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
My girlfriend and I:
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t run to home.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...
My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.