Family jokes
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
Why do orphans like the iPhone 12 Pro?
Because there is no home button.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don’t know where home is.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"