Family jokes
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
Why can’t orphans play baseball??
Because they can’t find their way to home plate.
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.