Family jokes
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Daddy, where's my anus?
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
Why can you bully an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.