Family jokes

Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.

Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?

A: Cum on your cousin's face.

Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

What did a man say to his boy?

You are my son.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support its family.

Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"

What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?

One is allowed in the house.

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...