Family jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where the home is.

Why do orphans hate cricket?

Because they can't get a "homerun."

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.

Imagine not having a dad.

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find their way home.

My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔

Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

What is an orphan's favorite website? Zillow.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

Why does the orphan not buy milk?

That's what their parents are doing.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.