It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Family Jokes
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what itβs like to be wanted.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
