Family jokes

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

I was doin' your mom, yes yours!

What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.

My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Why do orphans always come back?

Because I love cock.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.

If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?

People choose Pokemon.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.