Family jokes
Imagine not having a dad.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
HIIIIIIIIIII
I LOVE ORPHANS!
Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.
So relatable Tbh.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?
Because he needs the parent's signature.
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.