Family jokes
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.
Man, I love working in the orphanage.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.