Family jokes
What is an orphan's favorite website? Zillow.
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
I love these orphan jokes. It's not like they're gonna go tell their parents. ☠
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
I ate my mom.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.