Family jokes
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
Memes
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Why don't teachers give orphans homework? Because they can't go home...
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
Me: Joe left today.
Orphan: Who's Joe?
Me: Joe mama!
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.