Family jokes
My family.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
No one misses them.
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
Your mom.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.