Family jokes
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Me: Joe left today.
Orphan: Who's Joe?
Me: Joe mama!