Family jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.