Family jokes
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her eyebrows.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?
They’re just two weeks to quit.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked my mom.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!