Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One is always picked.
Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.
My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?