What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
a kid told me to go get a dad so I punched the kid he went to tell his parents oh wait he can't cause hes an orphan and orphans have no parents
maybe we should stoptalking about orphans there parents will get ma...... oh wait
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Hehe
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
