Family

Family jokes

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.