Family jokes
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Daddy, where's my anus?
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.