Family jokes
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.