Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
They can't find the home button.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."