Family

Family jokes

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.