Family jokes

Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a BMW in my garage.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

My grandfather had the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Your mom gay.

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.

Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."

I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.

Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Your mom's asshole.

My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.

Your mom is fat.

Oooo, roasted!

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

They can never make it home.

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.

I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.

Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.

Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.

What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?

The baby you just feed nails to.

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"