Family jokes
What did the orphan say to the parent?
Oh, wait!
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
Your family in a nutshell.
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What is it about sisters who argue?
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.