Back
Family

Family jokes

What do you call a cup with a handle?

A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

Grandma pointed to the campfire.

I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.

Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?

Because there is no home button.

Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.

Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!

Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.

Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.

The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.

Doctor: I will... dad...

Tq for reading my crappy joke.

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.