Family jokes
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?
"Two wongs don’t make a white."
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.