Family

Family Jokes

What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

In the U.K., it's a swear word.

In America, it's a family reunion.

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.