Family jokes
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.
The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.
🤣🤣🤣
Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find their home.
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.