I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
