Family jokes

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn!

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.

You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?

Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.

Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly.

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.

Yo daddy so ugly he want them ice.

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.