Family jokes
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why can't orphans become YouTubers?
They don't have electricity!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I fucked your mom.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.