Family jokes
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
How are orphans like Spider-Man?
No way home.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
Why are orphans lonely?
Because they don't have parents to talk to.
Once my sister was a sister, now she's a blister.