Family jokes
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
Your mom is a joke.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Why do orphans cry so much?
They can’t find a place to go.
Me and your mom in the bed.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.