Family jokes

Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

"UNKNOWN"

How does an orphan call his parents?

"..."

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬