Family

Family jokes

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Why did the orphan kill itself?

Because he's depressed about no family.

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

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