Family jokes

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Orphan: Throws a boomerang.

Boomerang: Comes back with his father.

Father: Goes to get milk.

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."

You know what orphans and Batman have in common? They'll both never see their parents again.

What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

An apple gets picked.

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"

Orphan: "What's a mom?"