Family jokes
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Why can orphans just be gay?
Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."
Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Answer: Your mom.
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?
"It has no home button."
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*