Family jokes
Who's an orphan?
You are.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Daddy, harder!
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Why don’t orphans play poker?
'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?
"Fairly OddParents."
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
Your mother.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."