Family

Family jokes

Ad

Bridge

  • I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

    Arson

  • A kid decided to burn his house down.

    His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

  • 1
  • Ad

    Ghost

  • My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

    Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

  • 1
  • Ad

    Orphan

  • Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

    Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

    Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

    Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

    Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

    Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

    Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

  • 1
  • Ad

    Orphan

  • Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."

    Student: "That’s sad."

    Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"

    Student: "Your parents."

    Ad

    Gay

  • Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

    Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

    Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.