Family

Family jokes

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."

Student: "That’s sad."

Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"

Student: "Your parents."

Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They don't have anyone to call "daddy."