Family jokes
Your mom.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball games? Cause they don't have home games.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So they had someone to call Father.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.