Family jokes
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."
The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.