Family jokes
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
Like if you don't have a dad.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?
They won’t be found because no one will look for them.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.