Family jokes

Hey girl, are you an orphan?

Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.

Why go across town when you can go across the hall?

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples actually get picked.

When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.

1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.

2. We all give each other a hand when needed.

Last but not least, we play Twister.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Oh, brother!

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

I once gave birth to 3 children.

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

I pregnoot.