Family jokes
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
What are orphans' least favorite movie?
The Promised Neverland.
Your Nan is dead.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.