Family jokes

What do you call a dad without a dad joke?

Dead.

What relationship status fits an orphan?

Single.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.

Student: Sorry to hear.

Teacher: Is anyone missing today?

Student: Your parents.

I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?

Parent signature: _________

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?

Daddy never came back with the milk.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Where did daddy cum in the bed?...

Everywhere!

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

I smacked an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?

Nothing, they are both just memories.