Family jokes
What are orphans' least favorite movie?
The Promised Neverland.
Your Nan is dead.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?
They're both filled with happy little accidents.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣