Family jokes
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
Your hairline and your mom go way back.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Why do orphans commit crimes?
Because they want to be wanted.
Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
What’s an orphan’s favourite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?
Homecoming.
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.