Orphans are so useless even their parents agree.
Family Jokes
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?
Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
