Family jokes
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Dad, I hate you!
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.