Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
Whats the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
A orphan came out the closet to there parents as gay. Oh wait. Continue.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
