Family jokes
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.