Family

Family jokes

Funeral

2 views ·

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

Jesus

49 views ·

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

Dad

1 view ·

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Sadness

3 views ·

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Ugliness

14 views ·

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Mom

22 views ·

You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Bullshit

69 views ·

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."