Family jokes
My dad went to go get milk.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.