My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
Whats the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama? Answer: The family tree!
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
