Family jokes
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Say, "Moommy."
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Your mom's so fat, she fell.
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈