Family jokes
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.
Can someone be my daddy?
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.