Falling Off jokes
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Johnny is very attached to his parents. He asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks, "What's that?" The mother replies, "That's my garage." He looks up and asks, "What are those?" The mother responds, "Those are my headlights."
He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad replies, "That's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tells his mother and she says, "You can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed. He gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving. He looks under the covers to investigate and sees them going at it. He then yells, "Mommy, turn on you're headlights, Daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
Why did James fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.