Eye jokes
Orphans got me like: š
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
Tazzaro got me like: š
jokes got me like : š Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org āŗ face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
"Balls" got me like: š
Memes
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (ā-ā)(ā-ā)(ā-ā)(ā-ā)(ā-ā)(ā-ā)
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back šš„“
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.