Eye jokes

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you haven't told her twice.

Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?

To get to Birds Eye.

Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.

Tazzaro got me like: 😂

Orphans got me like: 😂

"Balls" got me like: 😂

jokes got me like : 😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

Sauron said, "Eye see all."

Can you see me?

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.