Eye

Eye Jokes

Rest

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Sleep

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Mushroom

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

Teacher

Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*

Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?

Bomb

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

Peanut

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Nerd

What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.

Dad

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Arson

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Her

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴

Teacher

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.