Existence Jokes

I wish we were all aborted. <3

Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

The image shows four panels. The first panel shows an ape looking up with the text, "Evolution, can u give me brains to understand world?". The second panel shows a drawing of the evolution of various animals and the text "To understand world?". The third panel shows the same ape looking excited with the text "yeeeeeeeees". The fourth panel shows a silhouetted figure sitting with their head in their hands with the text "actually develops crippling depression like a fcking loser". The final panel shows the same silhouetted figure standing with a noose around its neck with the text "suicide time.".

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."

And then the wall fell on them.