Existence jokes

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver.

Oliver who?

Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹

Lol, I have no life :)

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?

Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.