Existence jokes

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

The only joke my dad ever made was me.

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

What do you call a bird with no wings?

Moas didn't even know that existed!

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Life is like a penis. It is short.