Existence jokes
My life...
I don't want to die.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Your life.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Little Johnny died.
I wish we were all aborted. <3
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
My day started out great until I woke up.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
My friend said my life was a joke.
No jokes have meaning.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.