Existence jokes

Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?

A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Die.

Die who?

Me, I want to die.

Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.

Karolien's life.

Wanna hear a funny joke?

John's life.

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.

We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.

We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.

Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.