Existence jokes
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
What's life if you don't have one...
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.