Existence jokes
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
My hopes and dreams.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Me. I am the joke.
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!